Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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