I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Never underestimate the power of titties
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
