she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
