After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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