i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
