Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
