I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
