You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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