you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a search helicopter?!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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