That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
