if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
