So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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