so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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