So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
