sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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