Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
