apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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