you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
