Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
