so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
another moral hangover. fuck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
