even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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