I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They have beer where we have blood.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize