therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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