Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
