Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is my gift to your gina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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