awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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