Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize