why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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