hotel room ftw
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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