when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
