i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
