I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
