ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
