it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize