Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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