Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
