It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
