Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize