I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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