hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
