Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So much rum. So many feels.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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