I wanna passion pit in your ass
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
