just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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