I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
