Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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