Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
