Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
