I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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