Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize