I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
