you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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