New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
