Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
