bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
