I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm like, not good at living.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
