Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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