Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
