I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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