If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
