Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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