I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
