so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
