I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
